在大馬，電影《我的少女時代》在10月22日上映了。
但我其實是到了考完A2，11月10號才看的。
第一次看的衝擊真的很大
一整部下來鼻酸得不行
忍淚忍得好辛苦
我怕一流淚就會遺漏很多細節
你 滿意現在的自己嗎？
回想起自己的青春（其實也沒那麼老），確實很義無反顧
又很拗
很多話 其實都收在心裡
最常做的事 就是把喜歡的人推出去
不管想幹什麼其實我都會偷偷幫忙
現在想起來 也不知道自己幫了什麼
就知道有推別人一把這麼一回事 哈哈
所以最難過的那一幕對我來說
或許是 聽卡帶的時候吧
我一直說 離開是一堂lesson
但其實也不過是不想再去攪和
甚至也是一種‘你這麼想的話，其實我辦得到’
所以最後離開的時候其實有想過寫信
就是祝願某一天還會相遇
所以我跑到一個不可能相遇的地方
很努力地想要跑到更不可能的地方
我不想當悲劇英雄
我只是不想造成混亂和麻煩
這樣的畫面已經在腦裡打轉了很多年
所以當歐陽非凡告訴林真心真相時
我一陣鼻酸
當林真心聽徐太宇帶著強顏歡笑的卡帶告白時
我是已經不行了
第二次、第三次重看都是在這一幕落淚
我覺得故事拿捏得很好
看完後一直覺得很難過
我的朋友告訴我 ‘是好的結局啊，那還有什麼好難過’
但是我心裡卻一直自己認為是悲劇
我知道是好的結局，但是我卻控制不了悲從中來
現在聽小幸運都是一片疙瘩
上次和Evelyn去唱K 哭得很慘
她就是一直吼 ‘你幹嘛！你幹嘛！！’
其實 那感覺大概是很釋懷又很不捨吧
也是第一次聽歌唱歌可以泣不成聲
所以我現在還沒辦法完整地唱完這首歌
看到徐太宇做數學大補貼
我就想起小學時也是曾經手寫科學筆記
給一個女生 你沒看錯噢是女生
就是， 希望她可以搞好成績
我們就可以同班
我一點也不想做徐太宇（不過如果可以有他帥的話那也不錯，我是說臉）
我只是覺得很多人都看不透面對的問題是什麼
包括 學業、人際關係
既然我明白他們的問題是什麼 我就想要幫忙或讓他們知道
但是固執的人很多，他們覺得我一直笑、裝傻搞笑
所以我有很多東西不懂
但我其實裝不懂 只是不想在沒必要的小事上爭執
大家開心最重要
一路走來
看到別人的問題時我也變得猶豫
該說？還是不該說？
說了他們又堅持，問題出現了你卻不能說‘我早就說過了’
我是這樣失去勇氣的
我更希望自己有林真心的直率，
想說就說，喜歡就講，怕就發抖
不會就跌倒。不多想。
我並不是很會安慰別人
有一次很要好的朋友很難過
叫他出街玩玩 他不肯
我撥電給另一個朋友 讓他安慰他
這招其實蠻有效
但如果我有林真心那般直率
可能說出口的安慰的話會很有傻劲並且非常有力量吧
《我的少女時代》真的非常棒，王大陸超帥。。
我大概還會再去多看兩次吧...哈哈哈哈
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
I Weep A Little Whenever I Look Back
Days ago I met an old friend. He talked much about the past, like how fun it is or whatsoever. It made me wonder a little, because it felt so far away from where I am now.
I certainly didn't get the worst middle school life in HSM, despite all the troubles.
Like my teacher didn't want to let me go for a convention, like my teacher was angry when I didn't show up to some member activities, like my teacher didn't expect me of something good...
Honestly I didn't appreciate much the whole system and the environment.
The system despises freedom, ignores rationale and glorifies its ego.
The environment is stagnant, and it condescends to rarity and minority.
He then asked, whether I am still in contact with my another friend.
I stopped and laughed a little. I said maybe no.
He asked why. I couldn't answer.
This made me think back a little more.
I was just - ignored. That's how it ends. I didn't tell him though.
It's been buried deep and I feel nothing much ever since I stop thinking about it.
I praised the power of mentality - I truly feel so detached from things happened to me.
I built targets, I approached them. I look down on mental vulnerability.
I scoffed at meaningless conformity, and I question everything.
These made me see things critically and take responsibilities firmly.
Hey there, it's all because I was thrown to nothing.
And I found myself in nothing.
I succumbed to the real me.
It didn't mean I am happy everyday.
It's just that I weep a little whenever I look back.
I certainly didn't get the worst middle school life in HSM, despite all the troubles.
Like my teacher didn't want to let me go for a convention, like my teacher was angry when I didn't show up to some member activities, like my teacher didn't expect me of something good...
Honestly I didn't appreciate much the whole system and the environment.
The system despises freedom, ignores rationale and glorifies its ego.
The environment is stagnant, and it condescends to rarity and minority.
He then asked, whether I am still in contact with my another friend.
I stopped and laughed a little. I said maybe no.
He asked why. I couldn't answer.
This made me think back a little more.
I was just - ignored. That's how it ends. I didn't tell him though.
It's been buried deep and I feel nothing much ever since I stop thinking about it.
I praised the power of mentality - I truly feel so detached from things happened to me.
I built targets, I approached them. I look down on mental vulnerability.
I scoffed at meaningless conformity, and I question everything.
These made me see things critically and take responsibilities firmly.
Hey there, it's all because I was thrown to nothing.
And I found myself in nothing.
I succumbed to the real me.
It didn't mean I am happy everyday.
It's just that I weep a little whenever I look back.
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