Changes

Plans to make several changes have been set up. I think it's time to revise the way I used to treat this world. 

I've been, actually, confining myself from the world all this time. But that in turn made me an introvert, who communicated to the world with a non-varied tone, in a way that the world would like to hear or see. And that's not who I really am or, at least, who I wanted to be. After all these time, I no longer know who I am. 

Losing self identity is the toughest part. I'm so well adapted in treating people with the same old fool-acting ways, that always simply throw out stupid jokes. I wondered, 'Is that even me?' Because I have been staying in concealment and lying too long that I couldn't remember how I'm an heart-opened person.

I knew that I have to change, from my appearance to my mind. I wanted to shine so much. That's the real thing.


But how do I face all of you with a brand new me? 

When things change, or try to change, people are unhappy and they critize. Because Chinese tends to be dissatisfied with changes, having an opinion that the old one, whom he had gotten used to, is always better. The statement applies to my father, to our city folk, normally old.