從小到大 畢業的紀念冊上的每個題目
我都當成了人生最終的答案
志願是什麼 我不是寫百萬富翁 就是寫 科學家
可惜以前和我一起說要當科學家的同學們早就改行了
很多入讀商科 金融 或會計
很早很早已經和科學斷了聯繫。
只有我還是想要當科學家或百萬富翁。
一直覺得自己很笨
在那個可以妄語的年齡
我選擇認真不斷去思考 自己最終想要的東西
現在這個年齡再也不能亂說話了
難免有點想念 說話和計劃都不需要探討真實性和可行性的時候。
可能是從那個時候開始
我想做的這些事 在天真浪漫的時候就悄悄埋在心裡了
所以這些事 對很多人來說不實際
最實際/最有用的是啥？
他們大概會說 醫生、工程師、會計師、律師。。。冷門點也就藥劑師吧
因此我在計劃的‘大藍圖’其實以他們的看法是不切實際、好高騖遠
This is what many people thought when they heard I wanted to get into a high ranking university. The default mindset of the people is what I wanted to change. It's not easy to stand by my own, to be determined enough to plan your path towards these place. Believe!
After all, I just want my family to be proud of me.
Instead of jealous, I felt ashamed, for putting tons of efforts on my academic while still, to my parents, I don't deserve a living better than now. People would simply think that I'm wasting money while not consider that I've worked hard!
This is how I felt when I 'tested' my parents.
But then, at the end, I can't hurt their feelings.
I told them to stop.
It's either yes or no, not 'maybe you can try this one' or 'this one not bad also'.
I said please straightaway hurt me by rejecting me, but don't try to 'hurt me less' by offering me something else.
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