End of 2014

I guess there will be a time in your life in which you got really upset and kind of annoyed. The emotions had built up for a long time and eventually it exploded. The impact was enormous, immense, and everything was in turmoil and you know it won't stop at that moment. Every single thing that you had been holding and taking, would be jettisoned so that your yacht could continue sailing across the unknown seas.

This epitomizes my 2014. A year of having sleepless nights spent to dwell on what's going awry, and, to be grateful for what's going right. 

The situation was ossifying. The communications were sparse. No one was willing to be as candid as they were to others. Too much of hidden truth. Someone's being capricious, dispassionate, unduly dogged (which was so irritating that I can't bear so much) as predicted and thus a choice-less education had to be given. It's a one way ticket to send us apart. ya know. *smirk* probably I'm just semi-kidding, who knows?






Let me clear your doubt. If a second chance were to be given, I would still do the same.
Guess I don't mind much to educate people. 
Life lessons, appreciate it! 





Don't judge!

I've been putting things down. Afraid-ness, emptiness, dogma. Just to mitigate the vacillation I've been experiencing all this time in my life. But effacing all of my erroneous decisions seemed impossible.

What I could think of is to escape - run from every thing that made me so dependent to something in my life. There's a moment that I felt so excited to go out of this town. It's a generic old town after all, nothing really to be missed except my home, bed, friends and otak-otak.

Hence I started to navigate my destination, perhaps forage a final goal.
I wanted to create my own brand based on novel, eco-friendly concepts. I hope this would give more drive and impetus to me from being too lazy. I'm just too relaxed, I know, I know.


Let's not further discuss the distant past or future.

Byeeee 2014.



My friends and I went to the Avillion, Port Dickson. The beach was disappointing. The place was still amazing though. I have longed for a trip with friends to Avillion years ago, but the trip was not successful as it's quite expensive for few of us. So this time, we went there during a promotion period, AND with 10 of us, each of us just had to pay RM60+ for the hotel. 

My teeth ain't that bad right?

Imma faking

The lady beside me was Ying Ying. We're having the same constellation! Oh well That's not even important.

>>>>>That was the Empress Dowager. He says "You shall not go to the ball!"

You might be realising my mouth was almost opening.
Again, don't judge! Hahaha.
I just find the expression looks better in a photo.
There's nothing to do with me being bitchy.



The place was relaxing and chilling. But my friends were screaming at the night. As you can anticipate, 2 rooms to accommodate 5 people will cause sleepless night......


I'm not willing to post photos of me sleeping because they are unexpectedly horrendous.



See ya!

Thank You So Much Anonymous

I am back from a very minor accident. It happened when our car turned right and an car suddenly stopped at the middle of the road. Guess what? We crashed the backside of that car. My instinct told me that was done on purpose! What I worried was, we could be blocked by that car, and our back could be blocked by another car... and the story went on......
(Thousands of possibilities surged through my mind)

But no!

It didn't happen that way. (There's no car blocking us at our back as I glanced back to check) The driver, in fact a Malay, went down and my friend went down to 'discuss'. He demanded for RM100 for the damage of his ill, 'well-crashed' car. Well I see very subtle damage, almost nothing, so intact as the car was having a rubber bumper (is it called bumper?). Everything seemed so suspicious, but we were rendered hopeless because we were guilt-stricken in a sense of law. Besides, we don't argue well in BM.

Here comes the climax.

Then a myvi (JNB 3195) stopped by. A tall, hot man came down. (I swear the adjectives are NOT the climax) And ask us something, but I couldn't hear clearly. He instead talked to the guy. After some talking, things were still not solved, he asked us to shift our car to the road side. But our car engine were not 'startable' at that moment. I was so worried as our car stopped in the middle of the road without any lights. I was so dumb that my first idea was putting the light triangle thingy in front of it to let other cars notice. The man immediately asked us to press the double signal button. I was like 'oh damnnnn he's smart'.

After he talked to the Malay, the Malay was like feeling satisfied. I guess he gave money to the guy. Because I think I see him doing that! I apologized to the guy too as the man did, and the guy went away. He explained to us that bumping into backside of others' cars was wrong, and we were hard to argue more.
 
And shit! As we were so curious about how he make the guy go, we asked and he admitted he offered some coffee-money. He did give money to the guy, perhaps not the full amount, but we guessed it's half of the amount the guy demanded. We were so grateful and we wanted to give him back his money. However, he was very reluctant to take the money, saying that he had to go at the moment. I insisted the accident was not really his business or his problem, and he doesn't deserved to lose money due to helping others! But he with his helpfulness and friendliness, instead went into his car and asked us to be more careful next time.

What to do? We could only bid him goodbye.
(Was thinking to give him a thank-you treat)

We were so grateful to this kind man. Anyone who sees the car JNB 3195 please thank him on our behalf! I'll pray for his success in any thing. I guess this is all I can do to thank him.

I think people like this really make Muar a better place.

A Trip to Marina Bay Sands

Few months ago my mom messaged me asking when my holiday is as my brother was planning to go to Singapore Marina Bay Sands Hotel. I had heard about Marina Bay in which Singaporeans celebrate their national day there. There's a floating stage I guess. But I have no idea that we were going to stay in this wonderful building until the day before we went there.

16/12/14

So we actually had problem when we reached the hotel. We couldn't find a proper parking place nearby the hotel. And then only we realized that the hotel provides valet parking service (where the staff would park for you) for hotel guests. If we didn't opt for valet parking service, we'll have to work quite far along the Marina Sands Shoppes. Normally valet parking is QUITE optional, and so we don't consider it because of its expensiveness (we're cheap). The valet parking service staff even opened our car door and asked us to be careful while crossing the road. So much politeness huh.

The building inside was already so WOWing. The architectural design was definitely unique and different from others that I had seen before, considering other luxury hotels like JW Mariott, Grand Millenium in Malaysia, or even hotel in Taiwan such as Ambience Hotel. I like them tho.


Guess what? Fortunately, my brother had purchased 2 club rooms, so we didn't have to queue up (that's a long queueing line LOL). This is the view from the super big window of the rooms. One faces the Garden by the Bay, the other faces the Marina Bay.

Being the Club rooms guests, we were entitled to enjoy the exclusive High Tea Buffet at The Club located at the 57th floor. Besides The Club, there is an infinity edge pool, which is one of the biggest attraction of this hotel.

We were having high tea here. So we were literally having HIGH tea.

The best thing about the buffet was that you can actually order anything you want to drink. There's a quite long list of beverages, ranging from different types of mineral water to champagne, wine and juices.

Then we actually went to the Garden by the Bay, which was quite a pleasant place to go. So what exactly was the Garden by the Bay? I'm so lazy to describe what I've seen. Moreover, they just baffles descriptions. And so, blahblahblah...

I'm gonna introduce this real quick - it's a Man-made Natural-styled Botanical Garden. Well it sounds so much complicated under my summary. I don't mind LOL.

Not to affect its reputation, I'm going to photo-blog much to give you guys an idea.

Even an 'indoor' waterfall is made.

Looks amazing isn't it? In fact its one of the best places to chill, just like what Tanjung can do to us, just that this place is a thousand times cleaner and better. So sorry to say. 

There's a 'skywalk' hung between the supertrees. It is supported by lotsss of wires/strings. And it moves when the wind blows! I had realized that I'm so scared of being at a high position, especially when I'm stepping on a non-concrete floor.

After the garden, we went back to our hotel room. It's just toooo big.

The curtain can be controlled by switches. The A/C is automatically switched if the door is opened.I love this ecofriendly settings.

I wanted a fridge like this.Wines, soft drinks, chocolates, biscuits....what more you want?

TWG Tea Bags, coffee beans and coffee machine....?

 I didn't have chance to snap a photo of the bathroom. But everything is just too luxurious.

17/12/2014

Early in the morning, we went up to level 57 again to have our sumptuous breakfast.

When I was taking the photos above, a lady, possibly from Europe, laughed at me. I saw her thumbs up and I can only tell her 'blogger, blogger!' without further explanation LOL. Don't laugh!!

The breakfast buffet was indeed lavish, and of course satisfying.

After breakfast, mum insisted to jump into the pool up there.
So we got our things settled and went up again to level 57.

I love to have rest in a city.That's why I'm here to chill.

Don't peep!

In fact, the water in the morning was way tooooooo cold. I prefer to lie down at the chair or whatever there, reading books or doing nothing. I don't want to do things.



In the afternoon, I would like to spend time visit the shoppes near the hotel. There's an Louis Vuitton Island where I wanted to have some photo shoot there. Gucci, Prada, Rolex...... all the things I couldn't afford. But there is ZARA there. I love ZARA so much.

So we went to Sentosa, because we actually bought tickets for the Madame Tussaud and a underworld something.

I saw this in the internet, claiming that they are coming to Sunway next year.So I decided to have a taste of it before others :P It costs $6 I was like 'what shit is this'

Another overpriced fancy food. Arghhh.

Let's jump to Madame Tussauddd.

I like this photo so much. so #gay.好男人要快搶哈哈哈

Angeline Jolie and Brad Pitt.

I'm not sure who is this lady

Feeling Sexay with Beyonce.

She's in town!!!

Oprahh.

I'm half of his height LOLLL

The Marina Bay Sands Hotel was incredibly extravagant, and unlike my mother and brother I just love it. I love to relax in the middle of hustle bustle of a city.

Holidays are ending soon. I'm so worried.
I'm gonna have a good rest now. Till next time!

Changes

Plans to make several changes have been set up. I think it's time to revise the way I used to treat this world. 

I've been, actually, confining myself from the world all this time. But that in turn made me an introvert, who communicated to the world with a non-varied tone, in a way that the world would like to hear or see. And that's not who I really am or, at least, who I wanted to be. After all these time, I no longer know who I am. 

Losing self identity is the toughest part. I'm so well adapted in treating people with the same old fool-acting ways, that always simply throw out stupid jokes. I wondered, 'Is that even me?' Because I have been staying in concealment and lying too long that I couldn't remember how I'm an heart-opened person.

I knew that I have to change, from my appearance to my mind. I wanted to shine so much. That's the real thing.


But how do I face all of you with a brand new me? 

When things change, or try to change, people are unhappy and they critize. Because Chinese tends to be dissatisfied with changes, having an opinion that the old one, whom he had gotten used to, is always better. The statement applies to my father, to our city folk, normally old.

The moment when you saw your housemate throwing out ALL of his books.
and yet your exams have not started..... :l 


Life has been very good here, to be appropriate, busy.
And time flies, 
this is the 5th month I've been staying in Sunway
Wait... What??
(Meaning I left 7 months to sit for AS and 12 months to end A level :P)

It feels like everything has just started, and gone to the right track.
Knowing what to do, there would be no pain.

My heart is truly free and easy now
still feeling disorientated though.

But it's amazing.

I do not know who should I talk to
The situation is pretty bad
And I do not know what to do

Love can't ignite the flames that had been extinguished for years.
Not even their almost cold-shouldered children.
But the children are doing well themselves.

There will be no reply
and I knew it.

Alas
With addition of few surprising zero digits on the bank book
am brought to places where all the problems unraveled
at this single moment.

存活到现在

有人们这么对我说
你可不可以不要有一天缺席
因为看见你就好象会很开心

听起来很像告白
不是啦
是好几个朋友聚在一起的时候突然说的

其实我不是那种圣人
只是来到这里突然很轻松
不再绷着神经
也不会觉得身体沉沉的

想的东西少了
不会一直去深思执着批评
不会有对立的声音在心中彼此呐喊辩论
语言能力也这样继续下降

也好像像朋友说的那样开朗
我自己却没有察觉


只要这样一直努力下去
感觉就很美好
读书变成一个过程
A-level没有那么痛苦
就这样下去吧

一直以來不懂這個世界想要什麼
因為它想要的 從來不是我擁有的

I just want to express my very gratitude to my lecturer and friends, who had enjoyed and lent me their ears during my presentation.

I was in fact shaking and nervous throughout my whole presentation!
But all of your applause had given me the strength.
I know I was so weak in speaking English. So sorry for that.
And I know I'm keep saying the wrong words... Arrgghhhh. Forgive me.

It's good, exciting and amazing to see you guys being so attracted to the knowledges.
It's actually, in fact, out of the chapter of nuclear physics, but I thought that it was important because all of these were actually clearing the doubts of chemistry that all of us encountered in previous chapters.


I was actually studying the quantum physics and particles physics for this presentation.
A few weeks had been spent, just to comprehend the basic concept of the energy levels, quantization, Heisenberg Uncertainty etc.  and to complete my so-called 'lecture notes' (in fact, its a 5-paged presentation points).

The day before the presentation, I was so nervous. I actually had tried to present on my own, but it's hard to pretend there are 'audiences'. And I thought this presentation would also turn out a failure or even a fiasco for my life just like my Form 3 Speaking Test.

I kept imagining the words, phrases even sentences that I'm going to split it out from my mouth such as 'You don't bluff me ar', 'Use a shorter wavelength lar'.............

I'm imitating Ms Soo and Ms Low, their ways of teaching could really catch people's attention.
Well, Mr Chan's method was too hard, because he's too calm and I'm feeling so perturbed, how can I use his method LOL?
My ambition could be an actor, as I'm now learning to be a student, in the mean time learning to be an educator. Wakakaka~

Anyway, I'm feeling glad and happy if you guys are sincere for the applause :P
Hope you guys enjoy the presentation.
I don't think I will be teaching for this A2-related syllabus.
Let the PROs do it please. 
 
Thousands of thanks.

所谓的后悔
是因为知道自己的选择错了
产生的懊悔

后悔不过是自己在暗示自己
错了
下次不该这样

我每一次成长以后都会觉得后悔
每一个阶段都有让自己后悔的事
那感觉
有时候是郁闷
有时候是愧疚
有时候是丢脸

在抉择要不要去观摩团的时候
爸爸说不去会后悔
我当时的想法相信也有在这里提及
我那时候觉得 不参加也就不会知道它有多好，我自然也不会因没有去而后悔了

刚回来的时候确实感觉到它很好很棒，没去还真的会后悔
但现在看回来 却又是觉得很后悔去参与
后悔去认识了很多人，然后回来了淡了，
把那些认识的陌生人安置在暧昧不堪的位置
我到底该装熟呢？还是装不熟呢？

大概一切都是时间在主宰吧


因为想要触碰世界
所以必须要选择要去哪里
我要去哪里呢？
是去新加坡、台湾、日本、韩国、中国
还是澳洲、英国、美国、加拿大

为了不想要后悔
知道今生一定要有成就
为了不想要后悔
就一定要做出对未来最好的决定

但我又怎么才能兼顾一切呢？

想要去英国美国，但离家太远了
妈妈怎么会放心呢，所以一直说去澳洲就好啦

我剩下不到一年的时间去考虑
没想到时间那么快
其实也只过了两个月
但一切都开始了

Lucy: 很有启发性的电影

Lucy是一部我自我要求去看两次的电影

看了预告片的人会认为是一部科幻片
我起初对这一部电影的概念是
这是一部讲述一位脑力被持续开发的女人
对它的期待当然是期待看到普通人的疑问“脑力被开发到某个程度会发生什么事？”
我当然也（因为预告片）盖棺定论，此女人最后应该会失控，所以结局应该是死亡。
我把这个脑力被开发的主角当成情节焦点
我那时候认为这部电影主要只是想要描述一般人没有想过的东西——脑力开发

平均地说，我们马来西亚人对于科学数学的知识都低于中学程度，
一般人觉得太遥远
有人觉得不实际
更多是没兴趣去找出生命的源头，了解自然如何运行

但是不知道生命的源头、不懂自然运行的规则
就没有办法知道生命的意义
为什么生命只有有限的时间？

Lucy有间接在探讨 生命选择什么
(以下揭露部分情节)

多角度思考

在這件事裡
我看到的是
一個母親的失敗

我知道論說別人母親的不是
並不是一件好事
但這只是很單方面的看法

從多元角度去看
這位母親和別人一樣
忍者痛苦生下孩子
很偉大
我尊敬她

然而 這並不影響我對她的觀點
甚至是批評
我覺得 寵溺一個孩子 不算一個大問題
但是寵溺一個不會滿足的孩子
是非常大問題

她作為長輩
我尊重她
她作為生母
我尊重她
但她作為教育孩子的母親
我必須批評她

是，她是生母、長輩
但不代表她做錯的時候
我不能糾正她
甚至總結她 失敗

我尊重她，但我仍舊稱述事實，就好像牛吃草那樣真實

我記得以前我和媽媽在車上討論買鞋子的事
“媽媽，我要買鞋子了。這個鞋子都穿了很久了、要壞了（除了要壞了，而且因為一些原因也不合腳）。XX上次看到我穿這雙鞋子的時候，都說‘還在穿這雙鞋啊’”
“他這樣愛講別人啊，叫他買給你咯”
“他又沒有錯啦，他只是在陳述事實，就好像跟我說牛吃草那樣，只是個事實”
後來整車都笑了
我記得司機還叫我去讀法律 哈哈

有時候別人只是陳述事實，在人的耳裡卻會變成惡意批評


如果思維不透徹就會覺得我是在辱罵別人的母親
我道出事實、總結出 這位母親的缺點， 這行為聽起來沒問題
如果我和別人這麼說， 大概世俗的他們又會覺得
“啊，你在辱罵這位母親”“你怎麼可以這樣”

不要把你對他人在其他事情上的偏見、主見（尊重、喜歡、輕鬆、友善dll）
套用在事實上
別讓這些偏見去影響客觀的事實。

對我來說，這叫做 多角度思考。

因為我們都無法掌控
它的取向
它是無形的
有人叫它命運
有人叫它緣分
有人聲稱它是主送來的最好的禮物
有人說它是冥冥中送給彼此的禮物
有人說那是阻擋不了的宿命
線與線不會永遠相交
相交以後便是分離

我們學會很淡然
只因為無法掌控它
沒有了那種執著
也就不重要了
但願你和他找回想要的一切
又或者彼此創造新的一切
阿門



這段故事也就結束了。
但願多年以後你們能坐下來細細品嚐回憶
品嚐它的恩賜
它教會了大家什麼
你們會談笑風生
活得很快樂、也很滿足



我會努力提升自己（笑
不然被天菜約去見面（暗爽ing
我也還真的不敢赴約
一直說著在忙在忙搪塞過去
這樣 是不對的吧
不能總讓別人等吧